Dead bird? What dead bird?
Dear Turvy,
Why do you torture me so? You disappeared a few days ago, like you do, but this time you didn’t come home. I miss you. I worry about you. I hate not knowing if you’re okay.
You used to sleep with me at night and hang around at mealtimes. Now you disappear for days at a time, only showing up at the last possible moment before I go insane. Would you be embarrassed to find me running down the middle of the street screaming your name? Would you?
It is because of your brother Tiger, isn't it? He chases you off. I have seen him annoy the other cats, too. He doesn’t fight with anyone, he just runs up and scares you and makes you skitter off wondering what the hell his problem is. I love you the best, you know. You always have first dibs on the prime sleeping spot between me and the bed pillow. Always.
I didn’t want to fall in love with you. I didn’t even want another cat. I only fed you because we lived in the same house. You weren’t mine. I didn’t even think you were the cutest of the kittens. Then you started with the purring and the rubbing and the playing and the cuddling and the following me around like a puppy. You announce your arrival when you come home and seek me out when I yell “I’m in here.” All that attention and cuteness, how could I not fall in love?
So I had you “chipped” and, since that identification isn’t visible, I also gave you a collar with an ID charm. The clasp is specially designed to break-away should you, god forbid, get hung up on a fence or something. I worried you might hate the collar, but you wear it like it’s just more fur.
Please come home, Turvy. I miss you. If I could make you an indoor kitty, I would and you would always be safe. But that is not possible in this multi-cat, multi-kitty-door household. And frankly, I think you would hate to be cooped up inside all day after growing up outdoors. No grass to lie on. No bushes to hide under. No dirt to roll in. So I let you roam free, telling myself I’ve taken all possible precautions to bring you home and hope you don't bother the neighbors too much. But I still worry. About dogs. Cars. Crazy people who poison animals. Worry, worry, worry.
Okay, I’ll make you a deal. You come home every night and I will stop nagging you. Deal? Deal.
Come home you little butthead!
Love, Mom
