Good-Bye Ricky Fierro

Ricky Fierro died last week. Little Ricky Fierro, my first crush. My first heartbreak, too. I was completely and totally head-over-heels in love with that boy. We were twelve.

When a boy liked a girl back then, the unofficial tradition at my grammar school was for the entire playground of kids to form a circle at recess and ruthlessly shove the couple into the center where there was no escape. At that point, the boy would say something like, "Will you go with me?" to which the girl would reply, "Yes," and then everyone would go off and play on the monkey bars.

As horrifying as it was to be thrust into the center of that circle with everyone staring at you, including the boy you love, it was generally over rather quickly. Not, however, in my case. Ricky hemmed and hawwed and hemmed some more. The boys teased him. The girls giggled. I just stood there not knowing what else to do. Oh how I loved him so. I just wanted him to ask me The Question so I could say "Yes!" and then bask in the wonderfulness of going steady with my one true love.

Ricky was shy and funny and oh so sweet. I used to call him at night and we would talk on the phone for hours. (Yes, I called him. A harlot already at age twelve.) He would always get in trouble for not feeding the dog because he was on the phone. Or maybe he just needed an excuse to get off the phone so he signaled his mom to come and rescue him. I don't think so but, after the Circle of Love incident, I did wonder.

So there I was, trapped in the Circle of Love with Ricky Fierro, waiting for him to ask me to go steady. And he never did. The bell finally rang and we all had to go in from recess. Ricky befuddled, me humiliated, and the rest of the kids from the playground thinking it was the funniest thing ever.

Now I know twelve is too young to really go steady, but that is what we called it. What it amounted to was holding hands every once in a while, walking home from school together (we lived just a few houses apart), and most especially pushing each other down on the playground. Once I pushed him so hard he went flying over a couple of other kids and ended up in a bush. True love, people. True love.

We still talked on the phone after that but when I asked him why he left me high and dry in the circle that day, all he could say was, "I don't know." And so we made new friends in junior high and developed new interests. He built a skate ramp in his backyard and always had a gang of skaters over. The most I saw of him throughout high school was his helmeted, knee- and elbow-padded self flying through the air over the top of his back fence.

We never did get together, not even for one date. He married a lovely girl we both knew in high school and they have two beautiful children together.

I ran into Ricky's wife a few years ago and she said he told her I was the first girl to break his heart. I so wish I had picked up the phone right then and there and said, "Who broke whose heart, buddy?" But I didn't because we had not spoken in twenty years.

And now we never will. I regret that. But I will never regret knowing Ricky and having him in my life oh those many years ago. Even if he never really did own a dog.

Ricardo "Rick" Anthony Fierro December 16, 1963 ~ November 15, 2006

Rest in peace, Ricky.

I think this is from seventh grade. By then, he had decided 'Ricky' sounded too much like a little kid's name so he dropped the 'y' and became the much manlier 'Rick.'

_______________________________

I do not know how Rick died. If anyone has that information and does not mind sharing it, please email me.

Technorati Tags: obituary, rick fierro, first love

Comments

[Hsien Lei]

(((BIG HUG))), Sheila. Thanks for sharing that lovely memory.

[Mary Jo]

What a touching story. It took me back to my school years, and a similar rite that we had for going steady: The boy would have one of the girl's friend ask her to meet him at the water fountain. If she showed up, he would hold the fountain so that she could take a drink, and just like that -- that meant they were going steady.

Not quite as humiliating, but I often wonder if the boys ever hung out there waiting, and no one showed.

[JCW]

So sad...but a beautiful memory, beautifully shared. Thank you.
I can never drive past his house without remembering all those kids and that skate ramp!

[GetSheila]

Hsien: Thanks for the hug. I was a surprised at how sad the news made me considering I hadn't spoken to him in so long. I did wave a few times when he was out in his parents' front yard as I drove to my mom's house. He waved back automatically but I don't really think he knew who I was.

Mary Jo: That is a hilarious memory! This all makes me wonder what strange rituals todays kids do to hook up.

JCW: You know, I could swear I saw the skate ramp peeking up over the fence not too long ago. I wonder if they reassemble it during the summer for the grandkids.

[Jenn Bo]

It's weird how certain memories are really attached to a specific person that is no longer part of our lives and how the death of that specific person makes an impact that calls out those memories. The type of memories that last forever.

The death of someone who was once a friend still strikes me at the oddest times. I'm sure it is because our friendship had ended abruptly by her decision and then, later, there was this tragic illness that took someone so young (damn you, cancer).

Anyway, when I eat a butterfinger (her favorite), eat Sunday brunch (she put together an awesome brunch), and every Thanksgiving (she taught me how to make pie crust), I really think about this former friend and what a wonderful person she was. It makes me sad that she cut so many people out along the path of her life.

From this, I learned to cherish all those relationships in my life - as this same friend once told me, "don't sweat the small stuff." I wish I could have taught her that it is ALL small stuff.

[JCW]

Well said, J.B.!

My best friend and I fell out 18 years ago. Not a day went by that I didn't think of him and wonder when he'd come to his senses and we'd get in touch.

A year ago Christmas I found out he'd died of AIDS ten years previous. I think of him frequently, and yes, he comes to mind at the oddest times.

Moral of the story - if you love someone, let them know. If you've had a falling out, it doesn't matter who was "right" or "wrong".
reach out and heal the rift if you can.

J.B. is so right - cherish your relationships, because in the end, they are all that really matters. They are the stuff life is made of.

[Hsien Lei]

Gee. Everyone reminiscing reminded me of a jr. high friend I had who died in the Oakland Hills fire in the San Francisco Bay Area in 1991. We'd lost touch by then but whenever I drive through the Caldecott Tunnel, I think of her and hope she didn't suffer. :(

[GetSheila]

JennBo: I miss Y, too. And I am so mad at her. And I miss her. And she really pisses me off. And I miss her.

JCW: I found myself in a situation where I could have reached out to Y before she died and I didn't. Actually I did, but then she said and did some things that made me realize, though she called me her friend, she didn't really like me very much. And I discovered the feeling was mutual. It was sad and horrible and devastating. And then she died. And now I will be mad at her (and me) for the rest of my life.

Hsien: That is so sad. (((hugs)))

[Stephanie Martinez]

I am new to this whole site, but I can say I am happy that I was introduced to it from Rick's brother, Steve Fierro. I read the story about Good Bye Rick Fierro and It made my day. I do not know the lady who wrote the story but Man! can she make a person feel like they were there that day.

One Person I did know and very well was Rick. He was also the love of my life. He and I were planning our life together and what a great life we had and also had planned.

Because of this tragedy Rick is not here with his children,family,friends and myself but I know he is definitely here in spirit. Yes he does have 2 beautiful children and a wonderful family. Words can not describe the family he came from. From his beautiful,giving and strong mother and father,to his intelligent, sweet and loving brother. Rick truly loved his children and he was the best Papa I have ever met. It didn't end there believe me his aunts, uncles,cousins and extended family are just as beautiful. When I meant them all I knew what kind of Man I had met and this one was a keeper. I just wanted to let the lady know who wrote the story that I enjoyed reading it and thank you for putting a smile on my face. I know that he was very loved by many,which he deserved because he loved so many. It always feels good to hear how he made an impacted on others.

Again, thank you!