As many of you know, I live with my sister in a lovely house in a lovely suburban neighborhood. I do not believe I have mentioned our rear neighbors before. They are an older couple (60's?) who have a grown son who either lives with them or is visits a lot, I am not sure which. I shall refer to them as Husband, Wife, and Son, for purposes of this post.
Our back fence is currently in a state of collapse. Actually it has collapsed and is held up only by the corner posts and the big bushes the rest of the fence leans up against. My sister and I have been working with Husband, quite cordially I thought, to get the fence replaced and split the cost. Husband offered to obtain all the estimates and my sister said go ahead and replace it (as opposed to merely repair the existing fence), I don't care what it costs, I am happy to pay for half, and thank you for taking care of it.
So things are chugging along nicely until yesterday when Wife sends this to my sister:
I am [name withheld to protect the innocent, me, from liability],
I just got in from the back yard all frustated from TRYING to clean up the leaves and horrible mess your tree makes in our back yard. I am not in good health and neither is my son and it always seems to be our responsibility to clean our yard and our pool all the time (everyday). Since the fence is down maybe you can take a look and see what your tree does to our backyard and what a nightmare it makes. I was hoping you would have some compassion in your heart to do something about this mess. I am SEVERELY allergic to cats and we don't mind them in our back yard with the mess they make also, but the tree is unbearable. thank you for listening and I hope you will consider doing something with your tree.
Thank you,
[name withheld]
Now I realize she is frustrated, but it seems to me she could have:
- Waited to cool down before hitting 'Send' and edited her message to something less obnoxious;
- Contacted us when she first experienced the problem, before she got herself all worked up and angry, and
- Been less of a martyr and more of a friendly neighbor.
I have responded in a professional manner but I want to hear what you think before showing you my response. Besides, I may need ammunition if she comes back with something snarky and I decide to just let loose and flame her like I really, really want to.
Thoughts?

